There is a golden thread …
As you are all aware by now my quest to get Gold at the Dartmoor Classic has reached extreme levels. I have done everything to reach my goal. Up to and including talking performance enhancing substances.
I wrestled with my conscience but when I was passed by a Septuagenarian 7 years ago on the Wicklow 200 I knew everyone was on something. ‘You can’t win the Tour on mineral water’
I dabbled with a few chemicals. First I went to Floyd Landis for inspiration. Beer and Jack Daniels went down well but incredably my times worsened. I even took a couple of wrong turns and put my Jersey on inside out.
I then became aware of Beetroot juice. ‘Nature’s EPO’. Cycling magazines wondered at its supernatural powers. I understand that many of the world’s top professional teams swear by it.
I followed a ‘loading regieme’ recommended by a leading cycling magazine and even purchased two ‘Beetroot gels’ which I consumed en route.
The result? Red everywhere! Red from everywhere! It is hard to portray the facts without seeming vulgar but I feel the need to impress upon my followers the florescent redness that has been part of my life for the past 5 days.
The highlight? Cycling up the first 11% gradient of the day. I cleared my throat- bright red sputum. I thought it was a piece of lung. Then I realised there was no taste of blood. Beetroot.
For the past 5 years I have dreamed of waking up with a Dartmoor Gold medal. Today I lived that dream. The highlight was when I went to the loo. Gold! Not red or florescent purple but just a golden steam- priceless.
Next year I will use EPO. Keep clear of Beetroot kids